Before Tiger was born I never used to question whether I was a good mum or not, mainly because Cherry used to be so good. Looking after her was so easy and stress free and there were only ever a few occasions where we had bad days, and they were due to her not being herself for whatever reason (illness / teething).
I wasn’t a perfect mum, but I felt happy with how I did things, I accepted my bad points and I never felt any guilt.
Lately that’s changed a bit though.
I think Cherry has accepted Tiger being here, and she does totally adore him, but she isn’t quite the same. She is much harder work, which is fine, I know that’s what toddlers should be like and it might not have anything to do with his arrival at all but I have a feeling it does. Maybe not his arrival but the changes that came with him being here like not having my undivided attention anymore.
I am hoping that once he gets a bit older and they can play together then it will make up for it but at the moment I just feel guilty that we don’t have as much fun together as we used to. We still try and do the same things but it is obviously interrupted by Tiger crying and me needing to stop everything to feed him. It has gone from her needs always coming first to Tiger’s always coming first. It must be really annoying and she does deal with it really well when I think of it from her point of view but it’s not always easy to think of it like that when you are trying to explain to a tantruming toddler why you can’t make cakes at the very moment that you need to feed a crying baby.
Things are fine as long as none of us get tired, bored or hungry but by 4pm we become all of those things and until Mr C gets home at 5pm things aren’t much fun. It’s the hour when I find it hard to stay calm and patient and usually find myself snapping, I hear myself sound like one of those mums that I never wanted to sound like but I can’t help it.
I really struggle to ever make dinner and usually have to leave it until Mr C gets home because looking after two kids is just about do-able but trying to do anything else at the same time isn’t.
I hate that feeling of knowing there are important things that need to be sorted out, obviously looking after kids is important but so is making sure you have paid the bills, and earnt the money to do so.
I literally don’t have time to do anything anymore and the feeling of knowing I have things to do makes me on edge and a bit snappy. I guess that’s what makes me feel guilty because I should be able to put that aside and not let it affect my mood, which I can usually do until around 4pm when it hits me that I haven’t done anything off my list, dinner needs cooking, Tiger starts crying because he’s tired and Cherry starts having a tantrum because she can’t put the lid on her teapot properly / wants a mini milk. Then all of a sudden I feel like my brains going to explode.
I don’t want this to be a negative post because I honestly do love being able to stay at home and look after the two of them and I know that in time it will get easier. I just need to find a way to keep calm and not let stress affect my parenting because I don’t want Iyla to remember me as being a snappy old witch. I’m only like it about 20% of the time but kids usually remember the bad stuff over the good.
I have it in my head that good mums should never lose their patience, never get stressed, never wish they had five minutes to themselves and want to play puzzles for eight hours a day but maybe that’s putting too much pressure on myself?!
How often do you get snappy with your kids?
And if you don’t then how do you manage to stay calm when you are tired or stressed and your kids are moaning?!