On Having A Boy…

I knew from the moment we saw this baby at my 12 week scan that it was a boy. I was even sub-consciously saying ‘him’ when talking about ‘him’ so it came as no surprise when we went to our 20 week scan and saw a willy staring back at us!

It might not have been a surprise but I was still so happy when the sonographer confirmed what we were having, of course I would have been equally happy either way but it is really exciting to be having another baby with the added extra of it being a bit different – from trying to change nappies without being wee’d on to experiencing what it is like to have a mother / son relationship.

It is also nice to think that our family will be equally balanced. Obviously having a boy doesn’t mean that he will be into the same things as Mr C (he might prefer ballet to motorbikes!), but at least he won’t be outnumbered by hormonal women!

Another thing that I feel pleased about is still being able to call Cherry my ‘favourite girl’ – again I know it is just one of those silly things you worry about before the baby arrives but I find it harder to imagine having another little girl because I love Cherry so much and would be worried about comparing them. Plus I know how much me and my sister argued growing up and I am a tiny bit relieved to not have to deal with girl fights!

I am not sure whether we will have any more children, I know that in a few years I will be begging Mr C to have another one but financially I don’t think it would be a particularly sensible thing to do, unless we won the lottery that is. So at least having one of each means that we could stop without feeling like we need to have more. I know it doesn’t matter what sex your children are but I am not going to lie, I like having a girl and I like the fact I am having a boy. If I was having my second boy then I think I would want to try for another in the hope of it being a girl and likewise if I was having my second girl. I would never dream of interfering with nature or anything but there is something nice about experiencing both.

When it comes to raising a boy there are some things that I will be taking really seriously. Firstly I am going to make sure that he is domesticated, there is nothing worse than those teenagers who leave home not being able to cook or work a washing machine because their mum has done it all for them. I know they think they are helping but really it just creates someone who is always going to need a woman to do everything for him, and I owe it to womankind not to send another man like that into the world!

Secondly I want to do everything I can to make sure he respects women. Of course people make mistakes, and I know teenagers can be pretty awful but I would feel responsible if I raised a son who treated women badly so I think in a way when I look forward to all these future issues I feel a lot less confident of my parenting skills when it comes to raising a boy – I must remember to look at this when Cherry hits 14!

Note to Mr C’ s mum (and dad) – Mr C might not always pick his clothes up off the floor but he can cook, clean and work a washing machine, plus he has a lot of morals and respect when it comes to how women are treated so you should be proud.

So these are my main thoughts on having a boy.

My only concern is that I am going to find it hard work! I know boys generally have a lot more energy than girls and where I can leave Iyla somewhere safe in the knowledge that she will still be there when I get back, I know it might be very different with a boy!

  1. I am so thrilled to be getting to experience parenting one of each, and so excited for you that you’ll get to try out both too. They are certainly quite different, but it’s good. And I feel so fortunate that the hubby and I get to have these different relationships with our children.
    I would have been happy either way this time around but one of the first things I said when the beautiful girl was born, was that I was happy they were different because I could avoid the comparisons more. And I’ve always called the little man my bestest boy, so I am so happy I didn’t have to stop that. I just have a bestest girl now too!!!
    I’m so excited for you Jess. Parenting boys gets a bad wrap I sometimes feel, and everyone puts having a daughter up on this pedestal. I have adored parenting the little man, and he has always been easier than his sister is turning out to be. Yes, he’s energetic, but he’s also so chilled out. I think what you see is what you get with boys, and that often makes them far less complicated to parent than girls. It would appear that us ladies are just born more complicated.
    Oh, and boy nappies are an absolute breeze compared to girls. I’m still getting used to all the creases!

  2. lucy

    28 February

    Boys wee everywhere when you change their nappy. Lol

    I already get mine helping in the house, unloading washinf machine & dishwasher. They love it. I encourage them to help tidy up after themselves. Im with you on thinking its important .

    I used to want one of each and I would still secretly love a daughter but I’ll b sticking with my two boys.

  3. Chiswick mum

    28 February

    I have a boy, and they are delicious bundles of joy – and seem to be boy-ish, no matter how non-gender stereotyping you try to be!!!!! They also adore their mummies! Of course, I have nothing to compare it to. And yes, I would live a girl one day too! Xxxxx

  4. Z is like a little hurricane and elephant all rolled into one – he never stops running mainly! and its true, they do wee everywhere ALL the time. I think he used to wee on me non stop till he was at least a year old. But they are so lovely and I can’t wait to see what Lyla thinks of him. Bet she’ll be like a mini mum to him 🙂

  5. purplemum

    1 March

    Congratulations on joining team blue. As you know I have two boys and a girl and I can tell you that in this house parenting the boys is a lot more strenuous. They need daily exercise and are constantly on the go, whereas Sicily will sit and concentrate on one thing for much longer and she’s the youngest! That said when they’re teenagers I’ll bet the tables will turn.

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