On Having A Boy…

I knew from the moment we saw this baby at my 12 week scan that it was a boy. I was even sub-consciously saying ‘him’ when talking about ‘him’ so it came as no surprise when we went to our 20 week scan and saw a willy staring back at us!

It might not have been a surprise but I was still so happy when the sonographer confirmed what we were having, of course I would have been equally happy either way but it is really exciting to be having another baby with the added extra of it being a bit different – from trying to change nappies without being wee’d on to experiencing what it is like to have a mother / son relationship.

It is also nice to think that our family will be equally balanced. Obviously having a boy doesn’t mean that he will be into the same things as Dad2BabyInsomniac (he might prefer ballet to motorbikes!), but at least he won’t be outnumbered by hormonal women!

Another thing that I feel pleased about is still being able to call Iyla my ‘favourite girl’ – again I know it is just one of those silly things you worry about before the baby arrives but I find it harder to imagine having another little girl because I love Iyla so much and would be worried about comparing them. Plus I know how much me and my sister argued growing up and I am a tiny bit relieved to not have to deal with girl fights!

I am not sure whether we will have any more children, I know that in a few years I will be begging Dad2BabyInsomniac to have another one but financially I don’t think it would be a particularly sensible thing to do, unless we won the lottery that is. So at least having one of each means that we could stop without feeling like we need to have more. I know it doesn’t matter what sex your children are but I am not going to lie, I like having a girl and I like the fact I am having a boy. If I was having my second boy then I think I would want to try for another in the hope of it being a girl and likewise if I was having my second girl. I would never dream of interfering with nature or anything but there is something nice about experiencing both.

When it comes to raising a boy there are some things that I will be taking really seriously. Firstly I am going to make sure that he is domesticated, there is nothing worse than those teenagers who leave home not being able to cook or work a washing machine because their mum has done it all for them. I know they think they are helping but really it just creates someone who is always going to need a woman to do everything for him, and I owe it to womankind not to send another man like that into the world!

Secondly I want to do everything I can to make sure he respects women. Of course people make mistakes, and I know teenagers can be pretty awful but I would feel responsible if I raised a son who treated women badly so I think in a way when I look forward to all these future issues I feel a lot less confident of my parenting skills when it comes to raising a boy – I must remember to look at this when Iyla hits 14!

Note to Dad2BabyInsomniac’s mum (and dad) – Dad2BabyInsomniac might not always pick his clothes up off the floor but he can cook, clean and work a washing machine, plus he has a lot of morals and respect when it comes to how women are treated so you should be proud.

So these are my main thoughts on having a boy.

My only concern is that I am going to find it hard work! I know boys generally have a lot more energy than girls and where I can leave Iyla somewhere safe in the knowledge that she will still be there when I get back, I know it might be very different with a boy!

m4s0n501

Comments

  1. says

    I’ve also been calling baby ‘him’ since 12 week scan but on no basis whatsoever! Have imagined a boy ever since so worried if its a girl I’ll be shocked / disappointed! Would love one of each, the perfect family! Having also argued with my sister throughout my life I think brother & sister is perfect!! X

  2. says

    I am so thrilled to be getting to experience parenting one of each, and so excited for you that you’ll get to try out both too. They are certainly quite different, but it’s good. And I feel so fortunate that the hubby and I get to have these different relationships with our children.
    I would have been happy either way this time around but one of the first things I said when the beautiful girl was born, was that I was happy they were different because I could avoid the comparisons more. And I’ve always called the little man my bestest boy, so I am so happy I didn’t have to stop that. I just have a bestest girl now too!!!
    I’m so excited for you Jess. Parenting boys gets a bad wrap I sometimes feel, and everyone puts having a daughter up on this pedestal. I have adored parenting the little man, and he has always been easier than his sister is turning out to be. Yes, he’s energetic, but he’s also so chilled out. I think what you see is what you get with boys, and that often makes them far less complicated to parent than girls. It would appear that us ladies are just born more complicated.
    Oh, and boy nappies are an absolute breeze compared to girls. I’m still getting used to all the creases!
    xx

    • says

      Thanks Lucy! I know what you mean about boys having a reputation of being harder work, I think it does depend as I know girls who are more boisterous than some boys and boys who are quieter than some girls but I think generally boys do seem to have a lot more energy! That’s interesting what you say about boys being less complicated, it does make sense though!xx

  3. lucy says

    Boys wee everywhere when you change their nappy. Lol

    I already get mine helping in the house, unloading washinf machine & dishwasher. They love it. I encourage them to help tidy up after themselves. Im with you on thinking its important .

    I used to want one of each and I would still secretly love a daughter but I’ll b sticking with my two boys.

    • says

      Haha I can remember my mum changing my younger brother’s nappy and him weeing up the wall! Will obviously end up in my eye when I’m doing the middle of the night changes! x

  4. says

    I think it must be really exciting to have one of each and to experience being a Mum to both sexes, thats the only thing I wonder whether I will feel I have missed out on- to experience a mother/son bond. A random thing but I remember my friend ringing me up when Mads and her son were newborns and saying ‘Oh my god he has just had an erection!’ I had no idea little boys ‘did’ such things! hehe, you have all this to come.
    I get what you mean about calling Iyla your favourite girl. I have this really weird thing now that I am so proud to call my two ‘my girls.’ For some reason the fact they are the same sex makes this even better. Or my ‘little ladies.’ Weird I know!
    I think ultimately you are thrilled with whatever you have and while I do wonder what it would have been like to have a son, I also feel thrilled for Mads she will have a sister so close in age, and also I feel thrilled as I always imagined two little girls! x

    • says

      LOL! I think I can remember someone else mentioning about baby boy erections actually, I had forgotten all about it! I totally agree though, I think you just love whatever sex your babies are because they are yours and that makes them amazing :) xx

  5. says

    I have a boy, and they are delicious bundles of joy – and seem to be boy-ish, no matter how non-gender stereotyping you try to be!!!!! They also adore their mummies! Of course, I have nothing to compare it to. And yes, I would live a girl one day too! Xxxxx

  6. says

    hello Jess.
    i so enjoyed reading this because i have read two posts today by Susan and Katie about having their new baby girls, and i was wondering how i would have felt had Jenson been a girl.the thing is i am never going to know what having a daughter will be like, unless an accident occurs, and i am happy with that but your post just now has raised some really interesting and obvious pointers.
    anyway, boys are def more energetic – or maybe thats just mine! i am exhausted by them but at least having a calmer big sister might pacify him a bit more!
    you will be wonderful and i agree that having a boy and a girl is a wonderful thing to experience for you and your family x x x

    • says

      Thanks Jenny, I have definitely noticed that the boys I know have a ridiculous amount of energy compared to the girls, although I do also know a few girls who could match them! I am hoping Iyla will calm him down a bit, she will be dressing the poor thing up as a princess by the time he is one! xx

  7. says

    Z is like a little hurricane and elephant all rolled into one – he never stops running mainly! and its true, they do wee everywhere ALL the time. I think he used to wee on me non stop till he was at least a year old. But they are so lovely and I can’t wait to see what Lyla thinks of him. Bet she’ll be like a mini mum to him :)

    • says

      Haha I can remember my younger brother weeing up the wall every time he had his nappy changed! I am hoping Iyla will calm him down a bit, she is excited bless her, she was sorting out his clothes earlier and telling me how she was going to change his nappy :) x

  8. says

    Congratulations on joining team blue. As you know I have two boys and a girl and I can tell you that in this house parenting the boys is a lot more strenuous. They need daily exercise and are constantly on the go, whereas Sicily will sit and concentrate on one thing for much longer and she’s the youngest! That said when they’re teenagers I’ll bet the tables will turn.

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