Stand On Your Knees and Eat Your Bloody Cake..

One of my favourite things about Iyla talking is the way she comes out with some hilarious one-liners.

I regularly hear her say things to Dad2BabyInsomniac when I’m in the bath or kitchen and they make me crack up. I didn’t want to forget them so I started writing them down.

Here is the best selection from the last week, I have to add that she does say the word bloody quite a lot, we managed to stop nearly all swearing but bloody is the one word that still slips out and of course she has picked up on it …

“Daddy, are you a rip-off?”

“Daddy, stand on your knees and eat your bloody cake”

“Daddy, I’ve found your eyes” – She was sitting there with a pack of his contact lenses.

“Mummy, I’m so cool”

“Give me a bath, you skank”

“I like your hairbries” (eyebrows)

“Don’t dry my toes, you dullard”

“My mind’s in a tizz”

“Are you putting on your glasses Daddy? Ooooh looking good!”

“The bloody batteries have run out”

“What’s on my leg Mummy? I’m not sure Iyla, what is it? A piece of crap”

“Life’s not fair”

“I want to pop an egg”

“A-tissue A-tissue we all have fun”

“I love eating cat”

“Mummy, can I smell your arms?”

“Daddy, there’s a turd in there”

Things kids say

I am already looking forward to reminding her of these when she is all grown-up!


  1. says

    WoW! Her vocabulary is excellent. I love how she says “dullard!” i can’t remember the last time I said that word! And A-tissue A-tissue we all have fun is much better than we all fall down. Z still talks in broken words but his funniest is when he is having a tantrum and shouts “mummeeee oh dearrrr!!!” like he’s 75 :)

  2. says

    Oh this made me laugh! Apparently my first word was “bugger”; my mum was horrified! (I think because I’d gleamed it off her). My little girl isn’t yet talking but has picked up some pantomine gestures such as thigh-slapping and putting her hands on her head when she drops something. They’re all mad! x

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