I have been a mummy to two children for just over a month now and in some ways it has been easier than I imagined but in others it has been a lot harder.
Initially I was worried about how I would do the every day things like manage to get us all dressed in the morning but Tiger is a pretty chilled out baby so none of that is a problem.
What I wasn’t worried about was how Cherry would cope, I really thought that she would adjust to being a big sister without any problems whatsoever but that was probably a bit naive of me.
To be fair to her, she has been pretty good most of the time but because she was so good before, seeing her misbehave has been a bit of a shock. Luckily it doesn’t happen all the time but if she gets tired or bored and I am at home with the two of them then it can be rather challenging.
I can cope with her saying no to everything I ask, copying Tiger crying because she thinks that is how you get attention, asking me to not feed him / get my boob off him / put him down and lashing out during fits of anger but I am struggling with is the fact that she clearly feels upset, angry and frustrated. When I look into her eyes sometimes I can see that she is hurt and it makes me feel awful.
I am doing everything I can to try and stop her from feeling excluded or left out. I have also been trying to explain to her that I still love her and that it’s okay to feel upset or angry at the situation but I guess the problem is that Tiger needs feeding so often at the moment that I feel like all I am saying is ‘I just need to feed Tiger first’ or ‘in a minute when I’ve finished feeding Tiger’. That’s the one thing I can’t change, he has to be fed. I do offer to cuddle her at the same time but she doesn’t like his feet touching her and has started to grab them and be a bit rough so that leads to more problems.
I know it is still early days and I’m sure things will calm down a bit once he isn’t feeding so often.
I hope so anyway, I don’t think she will be too happy once he starts crawling towards her toys and dribbling all over them but hopefully at some point they will get on and play together!
When Cherry isn’t playing up watching them together is adorable and she is always stroking him and saying how cute he is and how much she loves him. This makes the times when I want to scream much more bearable!
Changing from a mum of one to a mum of two has been amazing and I love my new role. I work better under pressure so I love that I am always busy and there is so much to do. I also love the fact that it has made us feel like a ‘proper family’. I’m not sure why it makes such a difference but it really does. I have found that after some initial teething problems Mr C and I are now working like a team and I absolutely love it when we are talking and I get to say ‘the kids’.
I have also found that since I started writing this post nearly a week ago (I can only find the time to write a few lines each day!) Cherry seems back to her old self, I’m sure she will still have her moments but now when Tiger cries she actually asks me to feed him so that’s a start!