Why I Will Never Breastfeed My Baby In A Toilet

Firstly I just want to make it clear that I am not trying to get involved in the breast versus bottle debate. It is not for me to comment on how people choose to feed their babies, it is after all a choice we have these days. I have friends who breastfed and friends who have no intention to do so. I respect whatever choice people make, being a mum is hard enough work without judging each other.

If people are totally happy with their decision to bottle feed then fine.

If people are totally happy with their decision to breastfeed then fine.

But if people want to breastfeed but don’t feel comfortable enough to do so in today’s society then that’s not fine.

I was really lucky that Iyla took to breastfeeding so well but even still it was not easy. It takes major commitment as well as sacrifice – I couldn’t eat chocolate / tomatoes / spices / or anything with any flavour for months. I also had to be prepared to get my boob out whenever she decided she was hungry – which was quite often! Because of this I knew that I was going to have to breastfeed in public. Luckily my first experience was great, it was in a restaurant and my waiter actually asked me if I wanted my food to be re-heated which gave me the confidence to do it more but I was always a bit worried about someone saying something negative to me.

I know that this is a concern of many new breastfeeding mothers so I was pretty enraged to hear what the Loose Women had been saying about the subject yesterday. They were discussing whether or not Facebook should ban breastfeeding photos, this is a subject for another day but I have seen some of the photos that have been removed and you cannot see an inch of flesh in them. Anyway while discussing the issue they let out comments implying that mothers should breastfeed their babies in the toilet and that breastfeeding your baby in public is the same as men getting their willies out.

I mean seriously???

I bet these women go onto their beach in bikinis (something which I would rather they did in the privacy of their toilet) showing more flesh that a mother breastfeeding her baby.

I think we need to see more women breastfeeding their babies in public whether it be in photos or in real life, it should be a sight that everyone in the country sees on a regular basis because until that happens women are always going to feel like they are doing something wrong when they are doing the most natural thing in the world.

I feel so strongly about it and if I can offer help and support to just one woman on her breastfeeding journey then I will feel like I have made a small difference which is why I want to take part in a breastfeeding peer support course. I have wanted to do it for a while and after speaking to Adele from Circus Queen about it last week (she is currently training to become one) and hearing this I have decided to find somewhere that I can do it as soon as possible.

Something needs to change and the Loose Women really should have put more thought into the effect their comments would have on the new mums watching their show.

They can say what they want but you will never find me breastfeeding my baby in a toilet.

Disgraceful.

I read a post about this issue on Mothers Always RIGHT earlier this evening, it’s a great post with video footage so if you feel strongly as I do then I would recommend reading what Molly has to say - http://mothersalwaysright.wordpress.com/2012/02/24/2038/

Comments

  1. says

    I saw a little bit of Loose Women when they were talking about that but didn’t pay an awful lot of attention. To say that women letting their babies feed in public is like men getting their willies out is absolutely ridiculous. I breast fed my son and I had to do it in public sometimes, which I didn’t like, but it was a necessity. The worst had to be sitting in an aisle seat on a plane, horrendous with a screaming child! The main thing was though that I was discreet, that’s the difference. As long as people aren’t flopping out boobs, which I am not so keen on, then it’s fine. There really isn’t any excuse not be discreet with the options that are available to Mum’s to cover up. Why should we go in a toilet? that’s so sanitary isn’t it….! x
    Mummy and the Beastie recently posted…The meaning of Mother’s DayMy Profile

  2. says

    I think you are right that the women on that show need to remember they influence they have, they often shock me (at the few times I catch it) with the nonsense they spout. My argument will always be, when you eat your lunch in a toilet, I will consider feeding my baby in one.

    Good luck with the training, it’s a great thing to do.
    Corinne recently posted…Nurses Are GreatMy Profile

  3. says

    I actually caught the episode of Loose Women the other day when this happened. I was at my mum’s and sat flabbergasted that they were being so small minded. The terrible thing was that the one woman on the panel who isn’t a mother was the one who was most supportive of breastfeeding and had a ‘if you don’t like it then don’t look’ stance.
    I think you would see for flesh and more boob from someone wearing a low-cut top than you do from a breastfeeding mother. Let’s be honest, if you’re feeding out in public, you just want to get that baby on your boob as quickly as possible so that you can be covered up.
    What disgusted me most about the show was the comment about it being like men getting their willies out. It is nothing like that. And it shows just how wrong our attitude to breasts is in general. They ARE NOT a sexual organ. Yeah, they might be nice to play with while you’re at it, but that is not their purpose or primary function. And it makes me so angry that in this day in age, educated women in the public eye still feel that boobs are for fun and not for feeding.
    Grrrrrrrr! Rant over. X
    Lucy at Dear Beautiful Boy recently posted…pretty.little.things – funky footwearMy Profile

    • says

      I could literally rant all day about it! I honestly hope their viewing figures drop until they get axed because they should not be allowed to represent women. I have seen photos of them all naked today, trying to raise awareness of ageism – photos of women breastfeeding is to raise awareness and it doesn’t show any flesh compared to them all starkers. I know which I find more offensive! x
      Mum2BabyInsomniac recently posted…Why I Will Never Breastfeed My Baby In A ToiletMy Profile

  4. stef says

    I wouldn’t even want to take a baby into a public toilet, let alone feed one in there!! That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! So they’re saying its better to put your baby at risk of becoming ill from germs and bacteria lurking around in these places than to feed a baby in public… what a bunch of idiots

  5. says

    Oh my goodness this is the one thing that is guaranteed to make my blood boil- to say that getting your breasts out to feed your baby is like men getting their willies out is just a completely narrow minded and totally ridiculous comment.
    I agree if you don’t like what you see then don’t look but how can it even be slightly related.
    When I first started breast feeding Mads I struggled and so often went into the toilet to feed her, it made me angry that i was doing it but I did feel uncomfortable when people were glaring at me cause she was crying as I was struggling to get her latched on.
    Whether you choose to breast feed or not, there is no denying it is one of the most natural acts in the world and the fact there are people out there who think otherwise in a day and age where all we see are photos of breasts emblazoned over magazines and newspapers and people walking down the street in next to nothing, quite frankly astounds me.
    Phew rant over.
    Katie @mummydaddyme recently posted…Pretty.Little.Things- FootwearMy Profile

  6. says

    Loose Women is just not the same anymore and this must be the most ridiculous they’ve been. Do people nit realise that most women are shy about breastfeeding in public and only do it fir their baby and certainly don’t want to be peeved at. On any beach abroad we are forced ti look at woman with their boobs on show and sone are not a pretty sight. Some stand and make a show of rubbing sun lotion on them or getting boyfriends to do so, yes I have seen this, so why when everyone says it’s ok to do this do they get their knickers in a twist with breastfeeding. Some of the LW panel have done these photo shots nearly baring all for us all to see they should just shut up.
    Anne Mackle recently posted…Why, How and What For?My Profile

  7. says

    I didn’t breastfeed but that makes me very angry still to hear such comments! You wouldn’t bottlefeed in a toilet so why breastfeed? Breast or not, the word “FEED” is a bit of a giveaway! If such things are going to be flouted about, can we please have a fashion police to stop pissed people getting their private out and showing their bums in short skirts and low slung trousers too? I think it is absolutely appalling that a panel of women were allowed to voice such ‘concerns’ on a national television show espcially in an era that is supposed to be actively encouraging breastfeeding. Many public toilets are not pleasant and hygeine issues aside, the idea of ostracizing (exuse spelling) new or otherwise mothers in such a way to meet their babies needs is something that feels like from back in the dark ages. Ironically, when probably then people breastfed quite openly and happily! x
    amy recently posted…Living with Oral AversionMy Profile

  8. says

    You are so right. Whatever way you choose to feed your baby, you shouldn’t be made to feel like you can’t do it in public. Breast or bottle, being a mum is hard enough without having to creep off in guilt whenever your baby is hungry. Thank you for the mention – and thank you for sharing your views. I’m sure you’re going to make an amazing BF peer supporter. x
    Mother’s Always Right recently posted…Why we should all remember early attempts at motherhoodMy Profile

  9. says

    Fantastic post!really well written…I totally agree, it’s such a shame today’s society is not more understanding or accepting of something so natural. Loose women should be ashamed most definitely, they can have their own opinions but have a responsibility as people in the public eye.

  10. says

    I really can’t understand why people get the heebie jeebies when it comes to bf in public. For christ’s sake at very worst you might get a glimpse of a nipple which you can see in tabloid newspapers, mens magazines and on tv every day . I have never asked for permission to feed my boys anywhere and the Loose Women have disappointed me with their attitude. There’s enough pressure on Mums without making them spend possibly the first 6 wks isolated at home until they feel comfortable enough to introduce a bottle. My youngest has just about got hang of bottles in case I am ill but at 10 months has only had a handful since birth.
    Definitely become a bf peer supporter. I found the training absolutely fascinating. Breastmilk and the human body, boobies in particular are amazing and should be celebrated not hidden away for simply carrying out their purpose in life.
    Kate Buckley recently posted…#Project52 Catch up!My Profile

  11. says

    its an absolute disgrace and makes a big deal out of something so natural and beautiful!! shame on Loose Women for comparing willies breast feeding! to be honest i see a lot more unnatural and OTT boobage on the high shelves in newsagents!!
    great post Jess x
    jenny Paulin recently posted…Saturday Caption 25/2/2012My Profile

  12. says

    Well said Jess. To the point and showing how ridiculous their views are. So much for the sisterhood hey? I could let it go with my FIL getting all embarrassed about me feeding in public as he’s a male dinosaur but this just went beyond everything! Silly old trouts indeed! x
    MelkshamMum recently posted…Saturday is caption day!My Profile

  13. says

    Well said. I’m pro choice as you are and was lucky enough to Breastfeed. The drivel of the supposed ‘informed’ women on Loose Women was shocking. There should have been a counter opinion to balance the ridiculous. Disgusted.

  14. says

    Frankly, I think a woman should even be able to feel comfortable showing her whole breast while breastfeeding. I may not do it but I don’t think it should be a problem for anyone. My grandmother’s generation of women would take their whole breast out and just feed their babies. I grew up never seeing a baby breastfed. In fact, formula feeding now seems to be the norm in Trinidad where I grew up. How did so much change in a generation? There just seems to be a connection between the obsession with hiding breastfeeding and the dive in breastfeeding rates.

    I often think too that if we got to actually see a breastfeed in everyday life – how a baby gapes, latches, what its jaw does when there’s a let down, when a feed ends, what a satisfied baby looks like – women would have a much easier time of learning to breastfeed.
    Circus Queen recently posted…Win a Boobie Beanie – a breastfeeding hatMy Profile

  15. Jen & Ruby says

    My Mum is a Loose women fan, but also a breastfeeding advocate who really reassured me when I was feeling nervous on my first public feed. Just showed her the t.v clip, don’t think she will be a Loose women fan anymore!! Shame on them. Wish there was more we could do to change the way society views breastfeeding in public. It is the most natural thing in the world, and I can’t understand why it’s so offensive to some. I think the government need to do a marketing campaign to promote it, as this seems to be the only way to get through to todays people. “McBoobies…!?”

  16. Cantor says

    I would never make a negative comment on a breastfeeding mum. I generally turn my eyes away, not to embarrass her.
    But, like it or not, even if breasts can feed a baby, breasts are ALSO sexual and REMAIN sexual, even when breastfeeding.
    So I am not sure that being provocative about it helps…
    Lactivism is STUPID.
    Women have to be able to choose. I HATE la Leche League, bunch of hypocrits. I HATE their ideology, the lies, the overrated “benefits” breastfeeding, that most people believe in. Milk cannot protect against diseases, or grant higher IQ’s. BMilk can only prevent babies from gastroenteritis. And that is very much it. The studies of LLL are biaised. WHO mainly recommends BFeeding for underdeveloped countries,where water is not safe, and LLL took that opportunity to lobby in order to spread their conservative ideas about family, and motherhood. I despise them.
    STOP GUILTYING MOTHERS, IT IS POINTLESS.

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