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When ‘Keeping It Real’ Becomes Too Negative To Be Positive

by Jessica Amey

When I first started this blog I only wrote about parenting issues, I was the first of my friends to have a baby and I found the support in the blogging community to be such a help in that first year when I didn’t really have the first clue what I was doing.

Over time I started to cover other topics and now my parenting posts are far less frequent than they once were but I’ve always strongly believed in ‘keeping it real’ when it comes to writing about my life as a mum. Lately though I do feel like my blog has become more about what we do at the weekend or the things we make which does make me wonder whether new readers might label me as one of the ‘perfect life’ bloggers.

Mums who craft with their kids are quite frequently labelled as ‘perfect Pinterest mums’ when in reality yes we craft together and sure I don’t mind glitter being sprinkled all over my house but reading books to the kids bores me to tears and I always get Mr C to do their bedtime story. Not so perfect huh?!

It’s not that I think there is anything wrong with bloggers who choose to only write about the positive side to parenting but after having a hard day I like to read something a bit more balanced, something that I can relate to.

And of course I have hard days, last week I had some of the toughest few days of my life as a parent. They were so bad that I failed to see the positive side despite my best attempts at snapping myself out of it. I was nearly reduced to tears on two occasions and when Mr C finally walked through the door I was sitting on the sofa as pale as a sheet with the worst headache known to man. There was no dinner and every room in my house looked like a bomb had gone off. I was so physically and emotionally drained that I struggled to even speak.

Those days happen, to me, and I’m in no doubt that they happen to every other mum out there. But those days don’t sum up my life as a parent to young children. Those days are in the minority and if it got to the stage where they weren’t then I would be desperately trying to work out why.

I’m by no means a parenting expert but in my experience kids pick up on EVERYTHING. They mirror back your mood and copy things you do that you weren’t even aware of. As soon as my kids know they are wearing me down they can really go for it which is why trying to remain positive at all times, as hard as it may seem, is actually a pretty good way to go.

Lately though I’ve noticed things going more the other way, every time I look through my Facebook feed at the moment I see status updates and blog posts being shared that are so unbelievably negative. Full of swear words, complaints and moans about life with young children and it makes me feel really uncomfortable.

I think it’s so important to share the difficult times but when that turns to constant moaning about life with young children it just seems like a step too far in my opinion. Can you imagine if someone only ever posted negative things about their husbands on social media? Calling them names, moaning about how annoying they were etc, it wouldn’t be acceptable would it? So why is it okay to do it about children?!

It would seem like I’m in the minority with this viewpoint though, even Mr C thinks I should just let it go but I just feel like if I see these things being shared then so will the next generation of parents. Do we really want to teach today’s teenagers that motherhood is basically a tedious load of shit?!

But I guess on the flip side maybe we’ve ended up in this place because women are expected to love every moment of parenthood and it’s a shock to discover that it’s actually pretty damn hard.

Maybe we need to unite as women and know that there is NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT MUM.

That not enjoying every moment of motherhood doesn’t mean you are crap or don’t have what it takes to succeed.

That being happy is what will make you the best mum you can be and that doing whatever you need to do in order for that to happen should come first.

That as long as your children know they are loved you are doing everything right.

That it’s okay to make mistakes as long as you say sorry afterwards.

That you don’t have to take your kids to the park. We only go about once a year and I usually end up bribing them with something so we can leave early.

And that maybe, just maybe, if we focus less on the negatives and more on the positives then things might start changing for the better.

I would love to hear your views…

Do you prefer reading positive or negative blogs? Or somewhere between the two?

And because I couldn’t not have a photo… Here is a one of me with my two little monkeys, who have just fallen asleep after making me go upstairs 12 times to fix blankets / turn their music toy on!


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