Stop For A Moment And Feel The Love

When Cherry was a baby I can remember……. actually if I’m honest I can barely remember any of when Cherry was a baby but I do know that as a first time mum I would have been adjusting to my new life and finding things more difficult than I had done when there was only myself to worry about.

Now I’m a mum to two children aged three and under I look back and wonder what I ever found difficult. One baby is a breeze, mainly because they can’t talk or walk.

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They can’t answer you back. They can’t demand biscuits for breakfast, refuse to get dressed, make you take them to the toilet five thousand times only to tell you they don’t really need to go, tell you they’re bored, ask to go to the park / soft-play / out for lunch when you’ve just brought them home from a ‘fun’ day out or cry because you cut their toast into the wrong shape.

I am finding looking after a three year old all day really exhausting. Things have improved a little bit lately but it is just so mentally draining to have someone ordering you around every minute of the day. It is RELENTLESS.

Giving drinks in the wrong colour cup, trying to reply to an email, going to walk up the stairs at the same time, not being able to find the right shoes, suggesting anything other than pasta with pesto for tea and revealing the plan to drive to the shop instead of walk are all serious offences to a three year old and result in tears and lots of shouting.

Then when you also have a baby who screams at the top of their voice every time they want something there are moments where you just want to scream yourself.

But this isn’t a negative post. Even on the days when I want to tear my hair out there is nothing I would rather be doing than being a mummy but there is no denying it is bloody hard work and one thing I miss is having the chance to stop and think.

I feel like I can never gather my thoughts. They are all over the place because in between each thought someone does a poo, asks for a drink, starts taking toys off one another, grabs my head and yells in my face, the list goes on…

Simple tasks like making a phone call become impossible. Some days it feels like you deserve a medal to have made it to dinner time without having had a breakdown.

My brain feels like a washing machine of thoughts.

Then something will happen that stops the thoughts flying around and clears my mind.

Something that reminds me what is important.

And it’s the people who are capable of driving me to the point of tearing my hair out that are also responsible for triggering the most intense burst of love.

Sometimes just one moment to make me stop and feel the love is all it takes to make a crappy day wonderful.

An expected ‘I love you’, a big cuddle, a kiss, seeing the happiness in Cherry when she learns to do something for the first time or watching her and J play happily together.

They all make the hard times worth it and remind me of the only thing that matters: Love.

siblings 3

Comments

  1. says

    I can completely relate to this post Jess. You’ve really summed up what’s it’s like a be a mum to a 3 year old! It is so draining! I wish I could store up all those beautiful little moments that make it all worthwhile though. It can be so hard to lose sight off them when you feel exhausted. Great post xx
    Morgana @ butwhymummywhy recently posted…Introducing the Bad Mums ClubMy Profile

  2. says

    Lovely post. I totally know what you mean with the not gathering your thoughts. Somedays I’m surprised I manage to get anything done at all. Now when I see babies I can’t believe I struggled, all they need is milk and motherly love. It’s a good job our kiddies are super cute and loving. Makes it all worth while x
    Lori recently posted…DIY BATH BOMBE CRAFT KITMy Profile

  3. says

    oh gosh I SO hear you, Wilf has started that thing where he demands things I can’t (or won’t give him) and then cries when he doesn’t get his own way. We’ve been travelling to Manchester so eating out a bit and yesterday when we got the cafe I asked and asked him what he would like to eat (out of two options) and he insisted on rice..and then of course when I’d bought and and brought it to him he cried for pasta. I had to take moment to just breath and remember he is only two but its so hard sometimes! xx
    fritha recently posted…What we wore – white brogues and yellow knitMy Profile

  4. says

    Some people say the “terrible twos”, not for me– the “threes” are by far moe hard for me– when they look you dead straight in the eyes and say “No!” knowing full well what it means. Yep, we should all have patches that say “we Survived the 3’s”….loads of love, heidi

  5. says

    I think many people can relate to this post Jess. I have days where I want to tear my hair out, although touch wood they are being pretty fab at the moment. I think a lot of it is that they have both gone into nursery two mornings a week. It means I can concentrate on getting work done and not battle to do all my clients round nap times and in the evening, and it means I get a little break as well, meaning I am a better Mummy the rest of the time. I am not saying that it works for everyone but certainly works for us even though money is a stretch. x
    Katie @mummydaddyme recently posted…‘My Fitness Mission’ – February.My Profile

  6. says

    Great post – I love reading your posts as we are at exactly the same point as you. LP is 2 and a half (tomorrow) and a nightmare a lot of the time – Although I don’t often blog about the hard bits. She refuses to get dressed in the morning, dictates which food she has, changes her mind as soon as she has that food, cries if I suggest she might need the toilet, refuses to put shoes on…. The list is endless. Little Man on the other hand is a breeze but gets frustrated if we’re not with him all the time or if he realises we’re not entertaining him at that precise moment!
    But there are definitely moments that make it all worthwhile and that make me want to cry because I love them so much. I love my life and wouldn’t change it for the world even though at times it’s incredibly hard.
    Donna recently posted…The End of The Great British Budget!My Profile

  7. says

    Oh so true Jess. The back and forward to the toilet thing drives me crackers the most, especially when you have a baby that then joins you in the bathroom and wants to pick out and eat the silicone from under the sink or stand up and play with the toilet (ewww!).

    It does just takes that one moment to make it all worth it though :) L x

  8. says

    haha love your description of a three year old! I felt myself agreeing to all of the points! I literally think that you are biologically programmed to find your children unbelievably cute because if they weren’t you would have sold them to the circus a long time ago!
    abigail oliver recently posted…westonbirt adventureMy Profile

  9. Brittney says

    Yes, yes, and yes again. You have written about my daughter.

    I have a nearly three year old, who is pretty great, but what is it with walking up and down the stairs together?! And the phantom poos and wees to make those trips up and down the stairs even more plentiful?

    But you are so right – perspective is king in parenting. Those amazing, lovely moments are absolutely everything.
    Brittney recently posted…The Duke: 3 Whole MonthsMy Profile

  10. says

    Wow what a lovely post – so well written and so very true – I love the little bit about giving drinks in the wrong colour cup – I know that all to well – my little man won’t drink anything if it doesn’t come with a red straw – no matter where we are. It is easy to get to wrapped up in it all and it’s really good to take a step back and enjoy the little magical things that happen

    Laura x
    Laura recently posted…A beautiful place to close your eyesMy Profile

  11. says

    This post is so true! They make you want to pull your hair out at times, yet they are the very best thing that ever happened to me and I love them so much. And three year olds are also so very funny. I think they get so darn funny at that age to make you forget quicker all the stuff they put you through.
    Carin recently posted…Easy Lent crafts for kids: paper chainMy Profile

  12. says

    I don’t think i need to say that i am right there with you Jess!
    I am always wondering how i ever found one baby so hard – but its the shock isn’t it. With number two you are used to having nothing for your own :)

  13. says

    Ah Jess. I know what you mean about one baby being a breeze! I keep wondering what I was ever busy doing with just one tiny baby that couldn’t walk or talk. My nearly two year old has been bossing me around all day today – I’ve asked him a few times today who he thinks he is. A King – clearly! I was hoping it got better not worse – ah! We’ll see xx

  14. says

    Spot on!! You know I get this! Love abigails comment too – I fear my boys would have been at the circus long ago were it not for their cuteness ;) xx

  15. says

    I’m catching up on my blog reading this morning, and I just wanted to say…. YES!!! To all of it. It’s hard work at times looking after two tiny terrorists (which is what I like to call mine when they are being monstrous) but in an instant they can suddenly be so adorable and all is forgiven. x
    Lucy recently posted…me and you {march}My Profile

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