Toddlers

DADDY, I’M AWAKE!!!

That toast is too big and the butter is too melty. I don’t want it.

(tears for 45 minutes)

I want my toast cut into hand shapes. I WANT MY MILK.

I want to do drawing. I want to do play doh. I want to do painting.

(5 minutes later with paint everywhere)

I’ve had enough of painting.

I want to get dressed. No I don’t want to wear that. I want to wear this (most ridiculous outfit ever).

I want lunch (it’s 9.30am).

I want to go in the garden. I want water, I want liquid (washing-up liquid) in it, I want more water.

MORE WATER, MORE WATER, MORE WATER.

I want lunch.

I want yoghurt raisins (quiet whilst eating yoghurt raisins).

I don’t like yoghurt raisins. I want cake.

(tears for 45 minutes)

I want to go to the supermarket.

Agrees to be good and not roll around on the floor or run off.

Get to the supermarket. Runs off and rolls around on the floor.

Come home.

Let’s go upstairs Mummy.

I WILL GO FIRST, DON’T COME UP YET MUMMY.

DON’T COME UP YET, DON’T COME UP YET, DON’T COME UP YET.

I want dinner (it’s 3pm).

Moaning and tears for the next two hours over the most ridiculous things ever like not being able to fit her large toys in a nappy bag or not being allowed to eat ten bars of chocolate.

I want dinner.

Throws pieces of manky vegetables she doesn’t want onto my plate and steals my haloumi.

I want ice-cream. Get me some ice-cream. Get me some right now.

I want milk.

I’m tired.

I want to go to bed.

Toddlers.